These days I like to wonder about many things. One recurring theme of my thoughts is about a future company that I would like to establish. But more often than not, fear gets in the way. Can I do this? Where will the money come from? What field of business? How to even start? Will I even have the guts to begin the process? Where to begin, Malaysia or overseas? Will it be another mediocre also-ran company like so many companies in existence today? How will the company culture be? Can it be grown to a global scale? If yes, how can it be done? How to motivate staff? How to maintain business accounts? (I am clueless about business accounting) And the million dollar question: “Sell what and do what kind of business?” Yes, again, talk is cheap, but that is really all that I can do now. I don’t have the guts to skip university to start on my own and learn it all independently. So I’m studying first, to learn the ropes from the academic track. Then comes the “fun” later. But owh, isn’t it soooo soooo difficult to succeed with a new company? I mean, 90 % of all new companies eventually fail. And that is a fact.

Sometimes we fear because we don’t know enough, and that is precisely what I am experiencing now. I simple don’t know too many things.

I recall myself in secondary school when at the end of Form 1 I was selected, or rather offered (which means that I can deny the appointment), to be the Afternoon Session Head Prefect in Form 2 (I am not trying to blow my own trumpet here, just relating a story). I was so so scared even though I had been Head Prefect in primary school. I began imagining myself giving talks in front of a large group of people, talking about prefect stuff, and I shudder to think about it. I would have to read the national pledge in front of the school weekly, as well as give occasional speeches, and then I have a large group of prefects to take care and meet every fortnight in meetings (there were never meetings in primary school, the occasional meetings in primary were handled by teachers). I saw the previous Head Prefect doing her job and I thought, “I could never do such a job like that, I would not be as good.” I got intimidated. The previous Head Prefect was so eloquent; she was a debater, I hated debates. I wanted to push away that Head Prefect appointment. The thoughts in my mind kept on harping on the large responsibilities that lied ahead. I wanted to escape it. I remember crying in my grandmother’s home because of this fear of responsibility that gripped me. Although at some point in time I decided not accept the appointment, something made me give it a shot, for some reason. I don’t remember how or why, maybe it was some words of encouragement from family, but I gave it a shot anyway.

No regrets whatsoever. o.O that’s Zaid in the background =)

It was during this time that I bought my first leadership book written by John Maxwell, entitled “The Right to Lead.” It was a pictorial anecdotal book filled with quotes from admired leaders all around the world. I found some strength in the stories and the words spoken to me through that book. My courage grew greater. So initially when I took charge of the Form 1 Orientation at the start of my job, I was still scared, but then I realized that the people all around me were so supportive, and eventually the fear dissipated and disappeared. I loved the job. The rest, as they say, is DJ History. I had the best time of my school life, and the chance to repeat the fun in Form 4/5 when I was appointed again for the Morning Session. I worked with a bunch of really great people, the prefects. And I really mean it. All of you were fantastic.

Fantastic people. (And all of your neck-ties are up. Amazing. That took awhile to happen. XD)

My point is this. STEP OUT. Do what you fear to do. You hate that job? Hate working for the same ungrateful boss? Go out and be your own boss. Warning: You WILL fail along the way in different degrees, but you will encounter a more meaningful journey. Or you have been dreaming of doing that something for a long while, yet there have always been excuses not to do so. SILENCE THE EXCUSES. Go out there and sweat it out. Pursue your dream. Like-minded people will go all out to support you. Remember this: COURAGE IS NOT THE ABSENCE OF FEAR. Courage is going on DESPITE THE FEAR.

I know that I may not be such a credible person to advise such things. After all, who in this world cares or gives a damn about this boy who has not even entered university. And the number of Head Prefects in Malaysia equals the number of schools there are, which lies in the thousands. No big deal. But hear me out. Though I may be nobody, I still exhort you to do it. It’s up to you to listen, though. I am also still learning to embrace this, as there are also many dreams of mine buried in fear.

Theodore Roosevelt “arena” statement sums it nicely:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.”

In the Bible, Peter WALKED ON WATER because he STEPPED OUT of the boat in the direction of Jesus. I am not asking you to stray from Him and go against His will, as more often than not we do not step out of our comfort zone even though we are being called by Him to do so. Fear gets in the way. When one has the faith and courage to step out, things become more exciting. The impossible happens. But when fear disrupts, we do not achieve our fullest potential. God gave us all gifts and talents to be used for His glory, but if we do not take the initiative to step out and have faith we are really wasting the gifts and talents that He has given to EACH AND EVERY ONE of us. A preacher named Rev. Vincent Lau who preached in my church last weekend said that we should all die EMPTY, not in the sense of dying penniless or poor, but empty in the sense that we have given all that we have in this life to utilize the skills, talents and gifts that He has given us, and exhausted every way possible to invest ourselves into the purpose that He has called us for in our lives. Amen to that.

My good buddy Kevin Chan, who blogs on hamletshero.blogspot.com will be writing a special article, or rather a series of articles, to be released on his blog starting this Friday.

The picture says it all. WHAT DO WOMEN REALLY WANT?? Haha. Check it out!!!

Yesterday, I was in my Kancil stuck in a mini jam on the LDP flyover crossing the Federal Highway near Subang. The car was stationary due to the jam and then all of a sudden the car shook! I mean, the car just shook left and right as if someone was pushing it back and forth from the side. The fact is, no one was pushing it!

It really was the natural frequency of the vibration of the flyover bridge that caused the car to wobble. The LDP flyover vibrates!!  Scary. Never ever buy small car if you have the money. Please.

So many many things in my mind lately. Cluttered and too many things running around. Let’s catch some of them and place them in words.

1) Weirdly, NUS says that my application is still in “Application Processing” mode even though almost all of my friends already know of their admission decision into NUS. Maybe they are rejecting me because I told them that I am retracting the NUS Double Degree application (Business & Engin. combined). NTU gave me a spot in the NTU-Georgia Tech program even though I told them that I am retracting my application after they asked me to submit more supporting documents. I got lazy, told them I am withdrawing NTU application, and got accepted. The irony.

The thing is, going to Berkeley ain’t cheap. Half a million ringgit of cash splashed, and I might not even get a high paying job upon graduation, especially if I fail to secure a job in the US and have to come back home to Malaysia. The cost does not justify potential earnings.  I am entertaining the thought of just going to Singapore and get that dumb piece of paper called a degree. On the other hand, job aside, Berkeley might expose one to lots of new stuff and give a wholely different experience that might come useful, in some way, maybe in starting a tech venture. So yeah. A gamble indeed.

2) YEAH this pisses me off a lot. Drivers who fail to signal when switching lanes or cutting into your lane. I might be driving a small car, but please signal la when cutting in. At least when you signal, I know and will most of the time let you through as a reward for your courtesy to signal. DON’T BARGE IN LIKE THAT. (Volvo, BMW tai sai ar) Or I’ll HONK =)

Malaysian drivers.

OH yeah there was this joke my colleague related to me. So one day a listener called Mix FM and told the DJ, “Penang drivers are really terrible la.” Another called in and said (obviously a Penang lang) “Where got, in KL the drivers are also like that what. Bad driving.”

Killer statement by yet another caller, “You know why KL got bad drivers or not. They all come from Penang and drive in KL.”

3) Hmmm in my job, I have been going to a lot of places, including the abodes of wealthier people to do some maintainance. I don’t know, but it feels weird. Big houses, big and nice cars, luxuries that I see, makes me wonder whether this is really what I want to own. If I had a lot of cash, would I self-gratify, indulge in all these nothings and be arrogant and think that I’ve got it all? It’s very easy to do that if you are rich. So dangerous to be trapped like that. Live like a king and all, think that one is so big and awesome. Yeah when I drive in my Kancil I will go “ooooo, wahhh, niceeee” at the Toyotas and Hondas and BMWs etc etc., thinking of when I can have enough cash to get a Toyota etc., but is this really the objective of it all? Materials and all. Many of us would like that.  But if a man were really to be judged by the abundance of his possessions, then there can be only one winner in this world, i.e. Warren Buffet at the current moment. Judging by this, the rest might as well be losers. Of course, this cannot be the case.

Being a Christian complicates matters. On one hand, it is OK to be rich, but be generous givers. On the other hand, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” (Note: Hard, but not impossible. More discussion on Bible verses about wealth and riches in a later post.) My say is that it is perfectly fine to be wealthy, though many Christians today advocate self-denial and living “poorly” since they say that the Bible says things like “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money.” But the world screams money and wealth, and if Christiany means that one has to beg in the streets, who would want to become a Christian? The truth is, Jesus’s disciples were very wealthy people. I’ll elaborate in another post.

Even in church, sometimes people give testimonies announcing that God has blessed them financially (yes that’s good and praise the Lord for that) but I don’t really agree with the part that they go on saying that they have recently bought a Mercedes [fill in latest model here] (this is the part that feels wrong to me) as proof that they have been financially blessed. Big deal ah saying you got a Mercedes? A car is a car. What is a Mercedes for if not to flaunt and show off? Sigh. I don’t know. It’s not that I am against people with big cars, but then again who am I to judge anyway? I am not God. But all I want to say in this paragraph is that when someone drives a big car, says he drives a big car etc., my perception of that person, justified or not, points toward arrogance and self-importance. This is the perception I get, to be brutally frank.

This is my stand on riches and wealth: 1) Being rich is not wrong. God needs money for His works too.  2) Tithes and offerings are obligatory and mandatory. God commands us to render to God the things that are God’s. 3) Be a generous giver. One must give in order to receive! But give not to receive but to serve others and shower love on others, especially the needy. 4) Don’t love money, and don’t let money be your God. Now who can say, “I wish to be poor”? The fact is that we all wish that we can have financial freedom, be rich, and not be in lack financially. But how will you live your life once you have all these things? I think how you live your life when you are rich it is more important than having the riches itself. After all, this fact remains: we enter the world with nothing, and we depart with nothing.

The question I challenge all readers to ponder: How will you live your life when you are wealthy? Never forget that it is God who gave the power to get wealth. Give more to those in need? Flaunt it all to fulfill one’s material desires? It’s your choice.

4) Makes me think, I’ve applied to 8 scholarships, only one replied so far, i.e. Shell. Never intended to go into Oil and Gas, so ended up not going for the interview, plus the bond would be unbearable for person like me. Guess I shouldn’t complain about not getting scholarship since I am so choosy. But you get the point. Easier to win a lottery today than to get a scholarship, no matter how good you THINK you are.

[see what months of no intense studying and exams can do to one’s brain. my recent blog posts are proof that the gap period before starting intensive further studies makes me think a lot, some might say too much. but it’s good. sets the priorities right.]

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Some things cannot be rushed.

Infatuation or not infatuation? Perhaps I’ll give a few years to tell the difference. But things will be very different then. Oh, how hard it is to embrace the notion of keeping my eyes on God and serving Him wholeheartedly, everything for Him, doing God’s will at the current moment in my life, instead of dwelling in uncertain hopes and desires that plagues the mind. But today was something lifted. This burden. Maybe now I can give God my 100% attention. As long as I don’t entertain those thoughts. My naive mind.

I was quite astounded when I read this in the Sunday Star yesterday.

At first, Ning Baizura’s manager Vernon Kedit Jolly spotted Penang’s Chief Minister Lim Guan Eng standing in front of them (Ning and Jolly) in a queue. When Vernon told Ning Baizura about this, she would not believe it.

Ning: Takkan CM jalan sorang sorang. If he’s the CM, where’s the bodyguards and the officers and the rombongan and kaum kerabat?

Me (Vernon): Tak percaya? Watch and learn.

So Vernon approached him, introduced himself and asked to take a picture. YAB Lim obliged.

Source: mrmanager.blogspot.com

Later on, when Ning and Vernon were settled in First Class, they turned their heads around, expecting to see YAB Lim nearby. But he was nowhere to be found. Vernon went to do a bit of investigating:

I popped my head round the curtain that veils First Class and Economy Class and guess who I saw sitting in the front row seat of Economy quietly reading the newspapers?

No prizes for right guesses. See more pictures here.

I should have expected this from a man who would rather live in his father’s house than to spend RM300,000 in tax-payers money to fix up the official dwelling of Penang’s CM. Such a person deserves my respect rather than national or corporate leaders who flaunt their status driving big cars and living like a duke. Down to earth people such as Lim Guan Eng deserve my most respect. Truly leading by example.

Went to NJC today for College Day to receive a Student Council contribution award. Met up with some pals again, as well as some teachers. Parents came along all the way to Singapore even though the award was no biggie. Of course, I am nonetheless thankful to be even invited for this event. But then again I remembered reading in a book that awards are given to acknowledge that you have been doing things conventionally, the way the world sees success. By getting an award you have proven to be good in the eyes of the world, nothing creative, nothing special, just conventional. Somehow awards don’t really matter to me anymore. I think I would respect the person who has not received any award or praise but has served others whole-heartedly, quietly behind the scenes. I want to be that kind of person. Perhaps the many school awards that I have garnered since primary have made me numb to this fact until now: it is all meaningless in the end. The greatest prize is not an award and I think that we should not be aiming for awards as our goal.

Then it dawned on me also that in NJC today all I uttered were the superficial “Hi Bye” remarks with people whom I have gone to school with for 2 years. Occasionally, I would press in a little and enquire more about their current endeavours, future plans and aspirations, say some lame jokes etc. But it always ends there, and after that the conversation gets tense and then there is the urge to say “Hey, I’ll catch up with you later. Keep in touch OK?” just to part, move on, and bump into another “friend” and repeat the same process.

I mean, one can have so many acquaintances but does it matter? What? Is it supposed to make you feel popular and thus happy? I have 700+ “friends” in Facebook, but does it mean that I am constantly surrounded by friends whom I can care and share everything with? I can tell you honestly that the answer is a flat NO from my life’s reality. I can also tell you for sure that “real friends” account for less than 1% of that figure. I went to look at my “Top Friends” (a Facebook app) list today and realised that I have not really spoken to most of them for weeks if not months. If I were to filter everyone from that list based on the rule of constant and recent communication, I would have a number of “Top Friends” that is lower than the number of fingers on my right hand. (I had since cleared this list. Deciding whether someone is a Top Friend or not really gives me a headache. Sometime in your life someone becomes your “top friend”, and then he or she drifts away as time and distance sets in. Now that I am heading to Berkeley, it would be inevitable that the list would need major amendments again. How sad.)

I remember a friend asking me this in the past: “If you had something bothering you and you would like to share your deepest and toughest problems, who would you go to?” I think I was stumped at that question at that time. I simply could not answer. The truthful answer would be “Me, Myself and I.” I would also be absolutely trumped by the question “Who is your best friend?” I think that until today in all my 19 years of life, I never had a best friend, at least not one that lasted until now.

Can someone define what a true friend is? But if you gave me too honest an answer, i.e. one that is too clear cut and deep, I’m afraid that based on your profound definition I may not have a single true friend. Maybe I was too busy running around building a stupid “empire” of studies and activities and bloody awards but neglected to cultivate close friendships. I end up with countless “Hi Bye” friends.

I don’t want ten thousand “friends”. I just want one or two or maybe three real friends. Wherever I go to in this world, these few friends can be relied on to lend you a shoulder.

It’s high time that I put friendships first. And of course, even if you who are reading this are my fellow “Hi Bye” friend, I love you too and am very grateful to have you as a friend, even though there are many things I do not know about you and vice versa. I would very gladly go out of my way to help you if you just asked. I guess that the reality is not everyone can know everything about myself and be a really close friend, and ironically I think that it is better this way. Thus “Hi Bye” friends are good too. So to the majority out there, Ern Sheong still cares for you as a friend!

And of course, thank God that He sent us a Friend named Jesus Christ to come down to this earth and be true friends with all mankind. But it never hurts to have a true human friend that I can call “best.”

Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad has officially begun to blog!

He currently only has a single post in his blog at chedet.com touching the issue of the appointment of judges. It is dated today at 1.27 am. In the preface, he says, “Thank you for visiting my Weblog. This site is dedicated to publishing my writings as and when I am able to pen my thoughts and opinion.”

Let’s give Tun Dr Mahathir a warm welcome to the world of blogging!!! If you didn’t already know, his daughter Marina Mahathir also blogs at RantingsbyMM.

Tun is proof that it is never too old to start embracing the wonders of technology!

The Edge last week featured some interesting articles related to business. Here I’ll share a few which I think is interesting.

What do these people all have in common?

• Convicted felon Jeffrey Skilling (Enron Corp’s former chief, who is serving a 24-year prison term for fraud)
• Deposed CEO Stan O’Neal (Ousted by Merrill Lynch & Co after failing to know about mortgage risks)
• Struggling CEO Jeffrey Peek (He is seeking to sell CIT Group Inc’s assets after the lending company’s shares dropped 73% in the past one year)
• Unpopular American President George W. Bush

The answer: They all went to Harvard Business School.

But of course, make no doubt about it: Harvard Business School undoubtedly helped put them there in the hot seats in the first place. The article questions the role that Harvard plays in shaping leaders who succeed or fail. Circumstances that occur in life such as a bad marriage, death of family members, or a bad accident can affect executives. Basically it goes on to say that when students come to HBS they all carry with themselves their own set personality which cannot be changed by simply taking more courses in interpersonal relations etc.

A study on 50 HBS students before they enrolled until they graduated in 2006 found that one-third were still stuck in adolescence and had problems emphathising with people. Another third were found inclined to define right or wrong in terms of what everybody else was doing. This might explain why even well educated executives have fallen prey to the subprime-mortgage debacle. The subprime-lending spree shows that Harvard and other elite schools fail to mould managers who look beyond self-interest, the article says.

But of course, HBS has its share of corporate icons as well: US Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson, formerly head of Goldman Sachs Group Inc; Louis Gerstner, IBM; and Meg Whitman of eBay. Not to mention also New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg and majority owner of Bloomberg News parent Bloomberg LP.

Many tech companies do not have MBA students as their CEOs or founders. My impression is that an MBA sort of encourages group-thinking and execution using conventional methods. But I don’t know much and don’t want to pretend that I know much either.

On a side note, I don’t think that I would be pursuing an MBA after graduating from Berkeley. I do intend, however, to pursue a Masters in Engineering and work at the same time, God-willing, through Stanford’s Honors Cooperative Program. 3 years at Berkeley, then off I go to work for 2-3 years in US while doing a part-time Master’s Degree Program@Stanford and also save up money to start a company. Then I would return home to Malaysia and do just that.

Haha… It’s so easy to dream

Sorry this post is going to be boring as I am uninspired to write at the moment… but just one piece of news:

ERN SHEONG WILL BE GETTING BAPTIZED TOMORROW!!!!

I remember many years ago seeing people get baptized in church and I wondered whether I would ever come to that stage in my walk with Christ. Fast forward years later and now I am getting baptized tomorrow! It means that I will be dedicating my life to living for Christ.

I want to thank many people, especially the City Harvest members in Singapore and KL who have helped me through so far, as well as a few close friends who have helped me get back on track in this Christian walk, and provided me with so much care and guidance to make me feel supported and encouraged. Not to mention my mum who whole-heartedly approved my decision to get baptized.

Just a quick sharing on an interesting forwarded slide show which I received from my aunt in Singapore about Warren Buffet:

There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity. The following are some very interesting aspects of his life:

• He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
• He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
• He still lives in the same small 3-bedroom house in mid-town Omaha , that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
• He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
• He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world’s largest private jet company.
• His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
• He has given his CEO’s only two rules. Rule number 1: Do not lose any of your share holder’s money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
• He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.
• Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk. (!!!!!!!)
• Bill Gates, the world’s richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
• His advice to young people: “Stay away from credit cards (bank loans) and invest in yourself and Remember:
  o Money doesn’t create man but it is the man who created money.
  o Live your life as simple as you are.
  o Don’t do what others say, just listen them, but do what you feel good.
  o Don’t go on brand name; just wear those things in which you feel comfortable.
  o Don’t waste your money on unnecessary things; just spend on them who really in need rather.
  o After all it’s your life then why give chance to others to rule our life.”

“The HAPPIEST people DO NOT necessarily have the BEST of all.
They simply APPRECIATE what they find on their way”

Well I am sure we all know many many many people, including ourselves, who live super or over-luxurious lives but are not even a thousandth fraction as rich as Warren Buffet. Perhaps we can all learn a thing or two from arguably the world’s most financially responsible man himself. Being able to buy and own anything in the world that he sees, but living as normal as normal can be. If I were God, I would even want to give him loads of money because I know that he will not squander it. He would take it and invest for greater gains! (Remember the Parable of the Talent?)

Are you the type who can be as financially responsible as Warren Buffet? I think I will have to do lots of catching up myself. I’m already 19 and haven’t bought a single property or share in my life. =S

Maybe it’s still too early to say or the applications are still in process, but I applied to 7 scholarships (TNB, Tenaga, SC, Khazanah, National Infocomm Scholarship (Singapore), Sime Darby, and Shell) and got no reply from any of them as yet. (BNM deadline passed but I couldn’t be bothered applying…And I can’t see myself working for Astro so maybe not…)

Kudos for Malaysian meritocracy. I expected some to respond. Looks like none did, or ever will.

So hard for a Malaysian with dreams to fulfil it. If one has no money, those dreams can go down the bloody Malaysian drain. Thank God for my parent’s EPF. At least I can fulfil part of that dream.

And then I read this article in The Star about PSD Medic Scholars failing to return home to serve and felt better that I did not get JPA or some other Govenment Scholarship. Scholarship holders mentioned in the article have proven themselves to be an ungrateful and self-serving bunch.

But the Government has a lot to be blamed too. Lousy pay with long hours, no wonder no one wants to come back. But its main fault is not being strict with the defaulters. The article lists the years and number of scholars who failed to return each of those years, and then after data collecting for years later the PSD publicizes it and says, “Oh, we think something needs to be done about this. This cannot continue.” This is what I call a lagging Government.

What a bunch of idiots running a country teeming with opportunity.

And no wonder so many of my friends are already thinking about staying overseas beyond graduation. They say, “You should stay on at the country (where you studied) beyond graduation and earn big money.” After my response, they go, “Why?!!! Come back for what??” I also know of one who already has plans not to return. Oh yeah, and many want to return, to Singapore that is.

Buck up, Malaysia. Or you’ll lose me too.

However I am reminded that no matter what goes on around us, the attitude has to be kept right. So let’s put on a good attitude and hope for the best, and strive for the best that is possible within out realm and means. If you are doing business for instance, you can demonstrate the way things should be done, by setting up a great company which can bring Malaysia to greater heights in the international arena. Do things your way. Show the bunch of jokers in the Cabinet how great Malaysia can actually be.

I realized that I didn’t care anymore whether I was from whatever-name university. After all, in business, I realize that people come from everywhere, not just HYPSM. If you came up to me and introduced yourself as from Harvard or MIT or Stanford, I don’t think that I would really care. So why do people want to go to all those big prestigious places for? Study so hard, work like mad, be passionate in some areas, most of the time for the sake of it, all to be an alum of Princeton/Penn/Cambridge/Oxford etc.? Then get a prestigious job and earn tons of money? What is the end goal?(Help others? Maybe) Self-empowerment and fame boost? Be in a higher standing? Be looked at with awe and amazement? Be famous? Be a “role model” that people look up to? Achieve your career goals? What does all these mean anyway? It’s all temporary. Fleeting.

I don’t care about all that anymore. At least I think I don’t. But I think that’s lying.

And many people work work work to earn money money and more money. What is the point of it all in the end? Yes of course no money no talk. We all need money to survive, enjoy and also do God’s work. But what is the bigger picture? I don’t have the bigger picture at the moment. All I am doing is follow the motions, do what everyone is doing, follow what everybody is pursuing. You go to university? Therefore I have to go to. You trying to enter Big Name University? Hence I try to do so too. You earn big bucks? So my mum tells me that I should too, be prosperous and help others in return, i.e. get money to give money. (Sounds like a cover up and a good excuse for wanting to be wealthy, but it’s not a bad motive) But I really think that there should be something bigger. A bigger purpose. What’s the point of going through the motions, getting along life, striving and striving and losing ourselves?

How can I live my life such that I have absolutely no regrets following the path that I am treading now when I look back in the distant future? I don’t know. I really don’t know. But I know one thing: I really want to start my own company somewhere in the next few years after I graduate. Hopefully in Malaysia.

Why? I am just fascinated by large companies and how they function, especially tech companies. But is it also because I am some power hungry freak who wants to be at the helm of a tech conglomerate? Or because I want to be in control and have a recognizable name? So many possible wrong motives. Is it because I want to make big money? That’s another possible hidden motive. Do I have the hidden motives in me? Maybe. If I answered ‘No’ you wouldn’t believe me either.

But my other reason is that it is just plain fun (and hard work of course). Results are directly proportional to the amount of effort and wisdom that you employ in the business, wisdom in applying the right technology, systems, and in recruiting the right people. And of course, it would be outright exhilarating to see your enterprise lift off the ground and profitably grow. I get to meet and work with people everywhere. Hopefully I get to travel too. Maybe I can provide a great employment opportunity to thousands of people, and motivate them to join the company and embrace its vision instead of treating it like a job. Oh, then it would be a ‘we’ thing too. So many opportunities.

Well, talk is cheap. Let’s go back to the above question? Why bother doing all this? My answer would be that because it would be worse trying to do nothing at all and wonder what your goals are and end up not doing anything. You dream it, go for it. Why and what am I striving for? Do I even have the option to not strive? Really, do I? Can I just stop striving? Would that mean just be complacent? Complacent is a bad word, isn’t it?

I don’t have a choice, do I?

OK so Ern Sheong has gotten himself rid of that sales job with iZZi Wireless Broadband which required him to work all weekend and practically 9 hours a day in a shopping center trying to sell people one thousand ringgit broadband packages. (I actually got a promotion to booth supervisor, but when I realised that the basic pay did not change and the working hours were still that gruelling, I quit anyway =P)

Well I was enjoying my days off after 31st of March (the day I quit) and spent my days hanging out or sleeping late and getting up even later. Nothing in store for me. No plans to do anything. But then before the week was up my mum obtained for me an internship with her friend’s company, i.e. a telco company in Malaysia (no not Telekom, much smaller private company called Telshine Telecommunication) (Somehow it’s weird how things are always planned nicely before me. It just comes. I did not even have to search for both of the jobs I landed since coming back from Singapore. I have to thank God for that.)

I started my job on the 7th of April, and for the past week I have been following an engineer around the entire Klang Valley changing the gateway number for the dialer used to connect to the call server at Telshine (discounted call service). I went to the semiconductor factory StatsChipPac in Shah Alam, Gardenia in Shah Alam, Transwater Api in Bandar Sri Damansara, Aker Solutions at Wisma Hong Leong … bla bla bla so so many companies and so so many factories that I cannot remember anymore. But of course, the pay is lousy. But I can claim petrol and make money out of the petrol allowance! XD

This week I expect to be be driving out on my own to meet clients and do the required maintainance since I have learnt how to deal with most of the troubleshooting needed to fix faulty dialers and how to reprogramme the gateway via plugging in a handset.

Saturday went to the PIKOM PC Fair at KL Convention Centre and got myself a pair of SonicGear earphones for RM 45 (bad publicity for this company, but sorry have to announce it: Your earphones are lousy!!!). Got home and realised that the sound quality was way inferior to that of the original iPod’s =.=

Then I went to church later part of my Saturday and found out that there was some audition for dancers to perform in a special church musical production.

The weird thing about this was that I signed up for the audition:

ES: Hi, I would like to try out for the dance production.
Girl:  Sure, just fill in your particulars here on this form.

While I was filling up the form…

Girl: So, what kind of dance are you currently in? Hip hop?
ES: er…. uh…. ar…. no experience
Girl: It’s okay just come for the try-outs…

Thanks. Phew.

Sweat.

Sunday I was paid to go to a volunteer training session for the World Congress of IT happening this May. I was even given free lunch and three complimentary tea breaks. (There is such thing as a free lunch!) Well I signed up to volunteer for the event months ago (I blogged about it before) so here I was at the training session for one entire day along with 300 other people. Not bad, rather fun. (Paid RM 80 a day for volunteering, training days included) I was allocated to Sales (aka PR) and was posted at the KL Convention Center IT Exhibition during the conference (May 18-22, 2008). Maybe you guys can visit me there! And owh I was also very fortunate to make some great new friends there at the training… hi Aaron from Monash and Peng from APIIT!

Yeah so came back home, had dinner… and decided to drag my father to the DVD shop (whoops! shhhh. hope the police do not read my blog XD). Bought 6 DVDs and watched Step Up (yeah I know I am slow…) at night. Great movie. Makes me feel like dancing too! =) And the girl’s hot =P

So that sums up my week. Not to mention Cell Group, 2 birthday outings, and well, the sad part earlier in the week at Andrew’s wake. Rest in peace, bro.

OK now back to my “How Dell Does It” book before I retire to bed. I really respect and admire Dell.

Good night people. God Bless.

This is true for me. Maybe it has to do with the lack of sleep and all that staying up at night but this has more to do with my level of positiveness rather than my physical tiredness after waking up in the morning.

Simply put, my energy level is at my peak at night, and I feel most positive later in the day, i.e. from afternoon onwards. Sometimes the energy drive turns on during late mornings. During this later part of the day, I am energized and gung-ho, and the energy cycle climbs until I go to bed thinking yeah, “I can do this! (whatever that seems daunting to me) I am game! I WILL do this!”

On the contrary, during many mornings I go “Here we go again; so tough task; so unachievable; how I wish I could run away from all this responsibilities; how tough life is; going to work is such a chore; it’s dreadful; why am I doing this in the first place; I want to stay in bed” and all those degenerating thoughts. I often find myself having to psyche myself out of these slumps and climb that mountain of energy once again (not always, but happens often enough to cause me to notice it). Like now at night I feel so upbeat, which is opposite to what I always feel after I wake up. My spirit often needs lifting after I wake up. This is not a recent thing. Has been happening since secondary, when I am older to notice I guess, especially with all that Head Prefect responsibilities which used to be going on.

Is this some common thing? I respect people who can be so confident day in and day out. They manage to find a way to unfailingly trek up those downward thought slumps daily or even better, stay up there on the high energy plateau all the time. Maybe it is peculiar to me, or maybe it happens to people who perhaps dream too big but do not have the apparent means to achieve it…

But there are always thoughts like that isn’t it? Maybe the key is to just push them aside. But I realized today that it may not be that hard anymore. I ask God to lift me up. Heard a Christian song in the morning today and instantly those morning blues went away. I mean, instantly. Yeah, instantly. Instantly, really. The thoughts just went away and were replaced with my gung-ho ones. WOW.

Hilarious group in Facebook with the following description:

This group is for Berkeley students coming together to recognize the ‘rivalry,’ and then make sure Stanford students realize that they are simply inferior to us.

The term rivalry implies that there is some aspect of the relationship between the two parties that is competitive. What we have here is merely petty jealousy. Hence, its less of a rivalry and more of childhood envy found in both Stanford students and graduates.

Many people spell Stanford as Stanfurd. The first thing you ask is: Why spell Stanfurd with a ‘u’ instead of an ‘o’. Well, my answer is ‘that’s the way it should be spelled’; ‘Stanfraud’ is fine as well. As you can guess, all the people there are superficial, arrogant, back-stabbing, spoiled brats. Next, you may ask why I hate Stanfurd so much, my answer to that is ‘because they suck, that’s the bottom line’. But, this name is not used in the group title so as to not give the appearance of any bias.

Stanford is the sort of place you want to see bulldozed to make room for a manure storage facility. It contains the type of people who drive BMWs and take mortal offense if anyone satirically pokes fun at them. It is a place where you learn how to reconcile giving lip-service to populist philosophy while employing an illegal Guatemalan maid.

And then comes the jokes on that Facebook Page… LOL:

Q: How many Stanford students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One — he just holds onto the bulb and expects
the world to revolve around him.
_______________________________________________
A Stanford football player was almost killed in a tragic horseback riding accident. He fell from the horse and was nearly trampled to death. Thank God the manager of the K-Mart came out and unplugged it.
_______________________________________________
Stanford’s football team is so bad more people come to watch their band blow than their team play.
_______________________________________________
Stanford’s mascot is a color. Our’s is a Bear. Enough said.
Stanford’s band’s mascot is a tree.
Bears eat, maul, and piss on trees.
_______________________________________________
How many Stanford professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Eleven. One to change the light bulb and ten to co-author the paper.
_______________________________________________
Everyone can tell a Stanford man by the way he walks down the street; a Stanford man walks down the street like he owns it.
Eveyone can tell a Cal man by the way he walks down the street; a Cal man walks down the street like he doesn’t give a damn who owns it.
_______________________________________________
A Cal student and a Stanford student are both using the men’s room.
When they finish their business, the Cal student heads for the door, while the
Stanford student heads for the sink. The Stanford students calls to the Cal student, “At
Stanford, they teach us to wash our hands after using the bathroom”
The Cal student replies nonchalantly, “At Cal, they teach us not to pee on our hands.”
_______________________________________________
Leland Stanfurd Had a Farm (to the tune of Old McDonald)

Leland Stanfurd had a farm, e-i-e-i-o,
And on this farm he built a school, e-i-e-i-o,
With a snob, snob here,
And a snob, snob there,
Here a snob, there a snob, everywhere a snob, snob,
Leland Stanfurd built a school, e-i-e-i-o.

At this school there was a tower, e-i-e-i-o,
But not as big as Berkeley’s tower, e-i-e-i-o,
With a tower here,
And a tower there,
Here a tower, there a tower, everywhere a tower, tower,
Leland Stanfurd built a school, e-i-e-i-o.

And this school had a band, e-i-e-i-o,
That lost them the big game, e-i-e-i-o,
With a tuba here,
And a tuba there,
Here a tuba, there a tuba, everywhere a tuba tuba,
Leland Stanfurd built a school, e-i-e-i-o.
_______________________________________________
Stanfurd is so bad at football that last year they were punting on 3rd down to catch the defense off-guard. they’d have the quarterback line up in the shotgun and he’d kick the ball past the unsuspecting safeties.

OMG farnee…